Super Bowls often incite riots with the use of a few catalysts, primarily beer and ecstatic jubilation. So, if you are out and about on a Super Bowl Sunday it should be of primary concern for you to ensure your beer is on the way and secured safely. Tina Williams did it with such precision that it will make your head spin. Need proof? She was pulled over in St. Augustine, Florida on February 3^rd and the police officer found her 24 pack of Busch Beer fastened securely in the seat with the safety belt.

Oddly enough she had forgotten her own safety belt. “No biggie,”she said to the officer, “I’m too drunk to feel anything should I get into an accident.”

The police officer smirked just a bit and retorted with, “Well that’s just fine ma’am, but what about your baby in the backseat? Is she drunk enough to justify not wearing a seatbelt as well?”

“Baby? What baby? Oh, I forgot my daughter was in the back.” Tina Williams replied.

Now I know what most of you are thinking, “How irresponsible!” Well if you ask me, Tina Williams totally had her priorities in order. The only mistake she was made was her God-awful taste in beer. Who the hell would go through that much trouble for fucking Busch Beer. That’s like driving a hundred miles to the nearest store, that happens to be next to a top-quality Italian restaurant, to eat a pack of Ramen Noodles.

One can only hope that next year’s Super Bowl brings more calamity and death of the babies by the dozen… or at the very least, a tasty beer or two.