BEEFBASKET ARCHIVE:

You think everything might be ok. Nah. You see a perfectly normal, harmless family walking down the street. BAM. 34 years later they’re dead. Bam MOTHERFUCKER. Know why? Lightning. This shit ain’t in check, no one knows how or why lightning strikes, or what it is. Or what it’s called. Many and few alike all speculate that fish make lightning by rubbing their hind legs together. This will remain unanswered.

So soldiers were soldiing, families were reuniing, and pennsyl was vaniaing. Some hard ass lightning says ‘fuck all that, not on my watch’, and it’s on. Totally raped everyone there, no chance. How can this be avoided in the future? It can’t. It WON’T. No one cares. Why? No, I’m not telling.

In other glorious news, water still costs more than gas, gas still costs more than blood (and comes in more flavors). That’s not really news, more like nüs. But it’s about the only thing worth talking about that hasn’t already been reported here, due to this site being totally all the fuck all over all the news, all the time! 1st on Google for the latest on terrorism? Yeah, Beefbasket. Fuck the naysayers.